Samantha Carter

Introspective posts based on a character's experience of almost getting transformed into a heartless. 1-5 exp based on posts.
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Samantha Carter

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Post by Xarat »

Pain. Searing pain unlike anything I've ever experienced. I've felt pain before, both physical and emotional pain, but this is beyond all that. I feel like a thousand needles digging into me and tearing me to pieces. This is far worse than anything I've faced at the hands of the Goa'uld. Holding my head, I make a sound I think, crying out to make the pain stop.

I feel cold now, but the pain still tears at me as the darkness closes in around me. Please make it stop! End the pain.

If I give in, will it end the agony? Will it make it go faster? I dont know but I feel my desire to live through this slowly fading away. I can't do this, I can't be strong any more. I want to give in, to submit to the invisible force that blinds me. I'm dimly aware of others around me, all suffering the same fate. At least I won't be alone. I couldn't bear to be alone. A dark hollow feeling consumes me as I fight. The loneliness I've carried for so long, threatens me now. Faces briefly show before me as I cry out again

Those who've sacrificed themselves, all facing towards me. Jolinar, giving her life to spare mine. Cassandra, designed as a sacrifice and spared. Teal'c, who gave up everything for a cause he believed in. His home, his family. All to end the regime of the Goa'uld. Daniel Jackson, fighting for his wife, Jack fighting for Skaara. They're fighting not just for them, but for us. For me. They're fighting for me too. They're all reaching for me but I can't reach them back, I'm being held down. They're getting further away now. Don't go! Please! I need you! Come back. I can't do this alone!

All the battles I've faced, why can't I fight this one. I've been through so much, it can't end like this. I can't fight it, I'm not strong enough. I have to try, I can't give up yet, I can't let it end like this. So many people depend on me, I have to make it through this. I have to make it back from this, back to him. We have so much to do, so much to accomplish still. You can't take me yet, I'm going to fight it all the way.

It's dark now, I'm so afraid. This can't be the end. It feels like it, but how can that be. I'm so close to giving in, why do I still fight it. If I stop will it end? I keep reaching for them but they're already gone. It's so cold here. I feel numb.

Rodney. My last thoughts will be of him, though he will never know. I love him, but I'm afraid to admit it. I should have said it sooner. Why didn't I admit it. I must fight this despair, this cold darkness. I have to fight back and tell him. He must know. I struggle against the invisible hands holding me, pulling me down. No not yet! I have to tell him. Let me go! I think I scream, but I'm not sure. I don't even feel me any more, I feel there's not much left of me.

Warmth. I suddenly feel warmth, and it connects with the last trace of warmth I feel inside. I see a hand reaching for me, and I try to grasp it but I'm bound. I see a face, it's his! Warmth suddenly suffuses me and I have strength to fight again. All too soon he fades away again. Don't go. I have to tell you. I love you. Please come back.

I have to fight for him, he needs me. Suddenly my strength is renewed. I have to live, I won't submit! I tear away the dark hands pulling at me and I'm suddenly free. The darkness dissipates and I'm free again.

There's something here that wasn't before, I'm sure. I look over for him and reach for his hand. You can't leave because... I love you!
Xarat
Posts: 17
Joined: October 24th, 2008, 7:39 pm

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