Kuja's Journal
Kuja's Journal
I am Kuja and these will be my journal entries. I possibly should have started this a long time ago, but I was never at a point where writing my thoughts in a coherent manor, mattered at all. I suppose the time I spend alone mulling over my thoughts and where I am going is a good as any a time to start. These are my thoughts, my personal endeavors, and ramblings of a less than sane mind at times. These will be open for anyone who wishes to read them, but don't come up to me and pretend you know me from these entries. These entries will also never be public domain. There are people I care for in this world and I will not let any harm come to them because someone read something I wrote.
May, 26 2015
2015 has it really been that long? It has been 10 years since that faithful day I joined the Dimensional Warriors or rather 'forced' to join. Ten years since the last day my sins were to be counted and I would have left my legacy of terror behind. Though by the calender it should be 410 years since that day. I have never figured out whether I am suppose to feel young or old. Even if it really has been four hundred years the face in the mirror would still look the same as it did when it was made. Considering the longevity of mages, and I may live well beyond the normal age of a mere man. I wasn't even suppose to live very long, but after an extensive and quite life threatening surgery I have over come the odds that were against me.
My name is Kuja. I was born on a world named Terra. My life was given to me by a man named Garland who sought to use me to instigate a war on Gaia hundreds of years ago. This war would help to speed up the process of mist, a by product that was created when the souls of the dead couldn't rejoin with the crystal or heart of Gaia. This would help Terra's assimilation of the planet Gaia much more easy. Although this ultimately failed there are still places on Gaia today that are reminiscent of when Terra began its assimilation. The record hall of Oelivert, The Desert Palace, Ispen's Castle and The shimmering island are all remnants of this former world. I do not know if any of these places have survived the dimensional shift, but there are still some places on Gaia that have been unexplored as of yet. The tree known as the Iifa Tree or Life Tree is also a remnant of this by gone war as it was the thing solely responsible for the soul stagnation. It was planted on the world in the time of ancients by Garland. It is a tree so large that it's very roots reach the core of the world. Again I am unsure of this tree is still on this world as a result of the dimensional shift. It may still exist but is called by a different name in the cultures that view the tree as something else.
As for me, I was born as anyone sees me now. I was given a soul. my own free will, a lot of power and the knowledge to use it. Garland also instilled in me a lot of hatred for anything and everything that was to be deemed not fit to even walk beneath my feet. I was also highly unstable and so Garland deemed me a failure and gave me a shortened life cycle. I would live long enough to fulfill my purpose as an 'Angel of Death' and then expire to give way to my successor. Give someone a lot of power and knowledge sprinkle in an unstable personality, tell them they are a complete failure...and...AND! then tell them you have made someone far superior to replace them, and you get the most dangerous thing in history. I still wonder why I didn't just kill Zidane way back then, but maybe I had a little bit of compassion in me or I was just blindingly stupid in my rage of jealousy. I thus began my reign on Gaia. I would plunge into the war Garland wanted and beyond in order redeem myself and rise above the notion someone would replace me.
I started subtly behind the scenes. I gained the favor of a noble family in Treno and worked my way up. I then became the host and co-owner of the auction house. This in turn would lead me to an alliance with Queen Brahne and the Kingdom of Alexandria. I did not plant the seeds of greed and power with in this woman, but I assisted them in growing by giving her the tool necessary to conquer other nations in order to pursue her desire to obtain the power of the Eidolons. I also provided her with a weapon of my own creation known as The Black Mages. These weapons were automatons made of cloth and straw. They were then given life through a method that infused them with mist. This gave them the power they needed to cast their magics. The mist however came with an unforeseen side effect. It made them sentient after a period of time. I at the time considered this to be a malfunction and would toss them overboard. Again out of either arrogance or stupidity I didn't destroy them and they lived. They formed their own society and live in well hidden village. I will never create another Black Mage again because of the sure cruelty they have suffered because of my selfishness.
I think I will end this entry here. This is only the beginning of me there is still a whole lot more.
May, 26 2015
2015 has it really been that long? It has been 10 years since that faithful day I joined the Dimensional Warriors or rather 'forced' to join. Ten years since the last day my sins were to be counted and I would have left my legacy of terror behind. Though by the calender it should be 410 years since that day. I have never figured out whether I am suppose to feel young or old. Even if it really has been four hundred years the face in the mirror would still look the same as it did when it was made. Considering the longevity of mages, and I may live well beyond the normal age of a mere man. I wasn't even suppose to live very long, but after an extensive and quite life threatening surgery I have over come the odds that were against me.
My name is Kuja. I was born on a world named Terra. My life was given to me by a man named Garland who sought to use me to instigate a war on Gaia hundreds of years ago. This war would help to speed up the process of mist, a by product that was created when the souls of the dead couldn't rejoin with the crystal or heart of Gaia. This would help Terra's assimilation of the planet Gaia much more easy. Although this ultimately failed there are still places on Gaia today that are reminiscent of when Terra began its assimilation. The record hall of Oelivert, The Desert Palace, Ispen's Castle and The shimmering island are all remnants of this former world. I do not know if any of these places have survived the dimensional shift, but there are still some places on Gaia that have been unexplored as of yet. The tree known as the Iifa Tree or Life Tree is also a remnant of this by gone war as it was the thing solely responsible for the soul stagnation. It was planted on the world in the time of ancients by Garland. It is a tree so large that it's very roots reach the core of the world. Again I am unsure of this tree is still on this world as a result of the dimensional shift. It may still exist but is called by a different name in the cultures that view the tree as something else.
As for me, I was born as anyone sees me now. I was given a soul. my own free will, a lot of power and the knowledge to use it. Garland also instilled in me a lot of hatred for anything and everything that was to be deemed not fit to even walk beneath my feet. I was also highly unstable and so Garland deemed me a failure and gave me a shortened life cycle. I would live long enough to fulfill my purpose as an 'Angel of Death' and then expire to give way to my successor. Give someone a lot of power and knowledge sprinkle in an unstable personality, tell them they are a complete failure...and...AND! then tell them you have made someone far superior to replace them, and you get the most dangerous thing in history. I still wonder why I didn't just kill Zidane way back then, but maybe I had a little bit of compassion in me or I was just blindingly stupid in my rage of jealousy. I thus began my reign on Gaia. I would plunge into the war Garland wanted and beyond in order redeem myself and rise above the notion someone would replace me.
I started subtly behind the scenes. I gained the favor of a noble family in Treno and worked my way up. I then became the host and co-owner of the auction house. This in turn would lead me to an alliance with Queen Brahne and the Kingdom of Alexandria. I did not plant the seeds of greed and power with in this woman, but I assisted them in growing by giving her the tool necessary to conquer other nations in order to pursue her desire to obtain the power of the Eidolons. I also provided her with a weapon of my own creation known as The Black Mages. These weapons were automatons made of cloth and straw. They were then given life through a method that infused them with mist. This gave them the power they needed to cast their magics. The mist however came with an unforeseen side effect. It made them sentient after a period of time. I at the time considered this to be a malfunction and would toss them overboard. Again out of either arrogance or stupidity I didn't destroy them and they lived. They formed their own society and live in well hidden village. I will never create another Black Mage again because of the sure cruelty they have suffered because of my selfishness.
I think I will end this entry here. This is only the beginning of me there is still a whole lot more.
![Image](https://i.imgur.com/j4XGJjt.jpg)
![Image](https://i.imgur.com/txqbiNF.jpg)
Re: Kuja's Journal
May, 27 2015
I am not sure how often I should write these entries. I think at this time I will write them as often as my thoughts still flow. There may be gaps in the entry periods at times, but I will try to maintain a since of flow between entries. It should give those who read them something to enjoy.
I left off writing about my not so humble beginnings. They were a dark time in my life and in many lives that were affected by them. I could blame the person responsible for creating me after all it was he who gave me the power and the will to do so. It would not change the fact that it was I who committed the acts. I would have been happy to accept what ever afterlife awaited me, but by some twist of fate I was brought into the new life I am leading now. I have come a long way since those times, but there is not a day that I don't still see the faces and the cries of those I had caused so much pain because of me. They more often than not come to me a night when everything is still and I am settling in to sleep. I often don't sleep because of this. There have been those who have offered to unburden me with this pain, but I have always refused. My burden and my pain is to remember what I have done, so I may never do it again. It is also what drives me to stop those that would cause these horrors to others as well.
I have managed to cope with the lack of sleep by long sessions of meditation. The comfort of another for whom I share a bed with also helps to sooth the pain at times. It last only as long as the person cares to stay with me how ever. That I will leave for another entry because it will be a lengthy one. I don't think I have the energy at the moment to put forth the emotion it would require to write that entry. The other ways of coping with little to no sleep is by constant study and honing my own body. I will often spend weeks on end filling my head with arcane knowledge. It has become so second nature to me that I have never considered picking up a physical weapon. I have a few staves and maybe some decorative swords I keep, but nothing that would any use to me. It is something of a curse when my power is stripped from me, but the rewards I have worked hard to hone and achieve out weight those risks.
Speaking of honing, for those who have ever wondered, I will lay any rumors or misconceptions to rest here. I do physically exercise. The magic I use causes considerable strain on my body especially when it comes to casting high level magics. It is important for me to keep both my mind and body as healthy as possible even through the abuse I put it through. The basic work outs I do consist of a tread or step machine, laps in the pool, and a bit of heavy lifting. I prefer to do this sort of thing in privacy and away from the public eye. I know many a gentlemen who love to parade themselves in the thresholds of their rigorous work out routines, and I am not shy about saying the eye candy is never dull. When it comes to myself though, you could say I am an artist who works on his master piece away from the public only to reveal it when I feel it ready to be displayed.
I think I will end this entry here. There is still plenty for me to write about, but there wouldn't be much of a story if I spilled everything all out at once.
I am not sure how often I should write these entries. I think at this time I will write them as often as my thoughts still flow. There may be gaps in the entry periods at times, but I will try to maintain a since of flow between entries. It should give those who read them something to enjoy.
I left off writing about my not so humble beginnings. They were a dark time in my life and in many lives that were affected by them. I could blame the person responsible for creating me after all it was he who gave me the power and the will to do so. It would not change the fact that it was I who committed the acts. I would have been happy to accept what ever afterlife awaited me, but by some twist of fate I was brought into the new life I am leading now. I have come a long way since those times, but there is not a day that I don't still see the faces and the cries of those I had caused so much pain because of me. They more often than not come to me a night when everything is still and I am settling in to sleep. I often don't sleep because of this. There have been those who have offered to unburden me with this pain, but I have always refused. My burden and my pain is to remember what I have done, so I may never do it again. It is also what drives me to stop those that would cause these horrors to others as well.
I have managed to cope with the lack of sleep by long sessions of meditation. The comfort of another for whom I share a bed with also helps to sooth the pain at times. It last only as long as the person cares to stay with me how ever. That I will leave for another entry because it will be a lengthy one. I don't think I have the energy at the moment to put forth the emotion it would require to write that entry. The other ways of coping with little to no sleep is by constant study and honing my own body. I will often spend weeks on end filling my head with arcane knowledge. It has become so second nature to me that I have never considered picking up a physical weapon. I have a few staves and maybe some decorative swords I keep, but nothing that would any use to me. It is something of a curse when my power is stripped from me, but the rewards I have worked hard to hone and achieve out weight those risks.
Speaking of honing, for those who have ever wondered, I will lay any rumors or misconceptions to rest here. I do physically exercise. The magic I use causes considerable strain on my body especially when it comes to casting high level magics. It is important for me to keep both my mind and body as healthy as possible even through the abuse I put it through. The basic work outs I do consist of a tread or step machine, laps in the pool, and a bit of heavy lifting. I prefer to do this sort of thing in privacy and away from the public eye. I know many a gentlemen who love to parade themselves in the thresholds of their rigorous work out routines, and I am not shy about saying the eye candy is never dull. When it comes to myself though, you could say I am an artist who works on his master piece away from the public only to reveal it when I feel it ready to be displayed.
I think I will end this entry here. There is still plenty for me to write about, but there wouldn't be much of a story if I spilled everything all out at once.
![Image](https://i.imgur.com/j4XGJjt.jpg)
![Image](https://i.imgur.com/txqbiNF.jpg)
Re: Kuja's Journal
June, 15 2015
Monkeys! Why am I cursed with monkeys? It was first my sister Mikoto and now Zidane has appeared. They are my siblings though and for what ever insanity I am to be put through because of them, I am grateful for them. They are after all a part of the same experiment than made me, although they didn't receive the same treatment as I did. They were still put through turmoil because of me.
Zidane is the Genome that was set to surpass me, but for reason I have already written about he was spared the life he would have lead. Mikoto I had no knowledge of, she was born after those events. I had only been aware of her existence once everything had been done. Mikoto received the most torment from Garland possibly due to the failures of myself and my kidnapping of Zidane. Mikoto when she came to me had frequent nightmare of those times. They are not as frequent anymore, but I still remember being up at odd hours comforting her until she fell asleep again. I always felt the most responsible for what happened to her because of my selfishness.
Zidane is a different story. His turmoil came in the form of myself. It was he who I would eventually face and he who would do all that he could with the efforts of his friends to stop my selfish plans. It may have been both my saving grace and his own that I spared his life when I did. Zidane after everything I had put him through never held a grudge against me. It is because of him I am able to be here and write about my thoughts as they are.
Zidane's appearance may be a signal though that I will have to face my demons soon. I don't know if I am ready yet, but I know I don't want to run anymore. I will be preparing myself from now until then for when that time comes. I hope that my deeds done up to this point will soften the resolve of those who will be judging me.
Monkeys! Why am I cursed with monkeys? It was first my sister Mikoto and now Zidane has appeared. They are my siblings though and for what ever insanity I am to be put through because of them, I am grateful for them. They are after all a part of the same experiment than made me, although they didn't receive the same treatment as I did. They were still put through turmoil because of me.
Zidane is the Genome that was set to surpass me, but for reason I have already written about he was spared the life he would have lead. Mikoto I had no knowledge of, she was born after those events. I had only been aware of her existence once everything had been done. Mikoto received the most torment from Garland possibly due to the failures of myself and my kidnapping of Zidane. Mikoto when she came to me had frequent nightmare of those times. They are not as frequent anymore, but I still remember being up at odd hours comforting her until she fell asleep again. I always felt the most responsible for what happened to her because of my selfishness.
Zidane is a different story. His turmoil came in the form of myself. It was he who I would eventually face and he who would do all that he could with the efforts of his friends to stop my selfish plans. It may have been both my saving grace and his own that I spared his life when I did. Zidane after everything I had put him through never held a grudge against me. It is because of him I am able to be here and write about my thoughts as they are.
Zidane's appearance may be a signal though that I will have to face my demons soon. I don't know if I am ready yet, but I know I don't want to run anymore. I will be preparing myself from now until then for when that time comes. I hope that my deeds done up to this point will soften the resolve of those who will be judging me.
![Image](https://i.imgur.com/j4XGJjt.jpg)
![Image](https://i.imgur.com/txqbiNF.jpg)